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18 Pandemic Haiku
June 1 to 14: eight hundred and twenty eight more fireworks complaints than last year.
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“Fuck, I mean, shit,” our neighbor screams through the wall.
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The ice cream truck waits for the garbage truck squeezing past the FedEx truck.
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Money, cash, hoes (2x) Loud and lonely 9:37am
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Fireworks and sirens don’t scare the cats but a sneeze ruins their morning.
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My wife renounced Catholicism after a fight with her cousin on Facebook.com.
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Friends I never thought would be doctors are now doctors.
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Rethinking labor, property ownership, and law enforcement now that I can’t go outside.
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How do writers live? We’re all so ugly broke and horny.
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Sometimes, mysteriously and in the dead of night a freight train blows its horn.
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The blind cat asleep on my lap -- and coffee just out of reach.
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Pulling three feet of yarn from the other cat’s throat -- another reason to stay home.
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Seeing the same things over and over again, scrolling on the couch.
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NBA games at one, four, six- thirty, and nine.
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In a stunning reversal the cats no longer fear the spritz bottle.
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Drinking wine, unable to think thoughts -- I think I’ll go to sleep.
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A fly on the Vice President’s head excites the cats, too.
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How do you balance pride with humility? Beats me.
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